is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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