You really coming over, don't trick.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
