Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
