i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you never un-have a 4some
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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