Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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