does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
false alarm, still single
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
