I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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