just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
