this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
