Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
