my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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