I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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