a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
