My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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