And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
