return my video game
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
