She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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