seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
