The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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