i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
