that's an acceptable place to lick
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He passed out mid-signature
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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