I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
