I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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