she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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