I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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