we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
