at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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