She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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