that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
