I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
