you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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