So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
