I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
