I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
