when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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