dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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