i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
