He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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