are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
