i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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