so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
