Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
