when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
