I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
false alarm. still invincible.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
