can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
