we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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