loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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