watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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