yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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