I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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