I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
