There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Help. Why am I so naked?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
