guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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