we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
