you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
