My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
