We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
