Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am one with the molecules
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
